"This Is Why You Don't Succeed - Simon Sinek on The Millennial Generation"
I have yet to give a speech or have a
meeting where somebody doesn't ask me
the Millenial question
what's the
millennial question
apparently
Millennials as a generation which is a
group of people who were born
approximately in 1984 and after are
tough to manage and they're accused of
being entitled and narcissistic
self-interested unfocused lazy
but
entitled is the big one
and because they confound leadership so
much what's happening as leaders are
asking the Millennials what do you want
and Millennials are saying we want to
work in a place with purpose love
that
we want make an impact
you know whatever
that means
we want free food and bean
bags
and so somebody articulates some
sort of purpose there's lots of free
food and there's bean bags and yet for
some reason they are still not happy and
that's because they're missing there's a
there's a missing piece what I've
learned is that there I can break it
down into four pieces right there are
four four things four characteristics
one is parenting the other one is
technology
third is impatience and the fourth is
environment the generation that we call
the Millennials too many of them grew up
subject to not my words failed parenting
strategies
where for example they were told that
they were special all the time they were
told that they have anything they want
in life just because they want it some
of them got into honors classes not
because they deserved it but because
their parents complained and some of
them got a is not because they earned
them but because the teachers didn't
want to do with the parents some kids
got participation medals you got a medal
for coming in last right which the
science we know is pretty clear which is
it devalues the medal and the reward for
those who actually work hard and that
actually makes the person who comes in
last to feel embarrassed because they
know they didn't deserve it so that
makes them feel worse right so you take
this group of people and they graduate
school and they get a job and they're
thrust into an it into the real world
and in an instant they find out they're
not special their mom's can't get them a
promotion that you get nothing for
coming in last and by the way you can't
just have it cuz you want it and in an
instant their entire self-image is
shattered and so you have an entire
generation that's growing up with lower
self esteem than previous generations
the other problem to compound it is
we're growing up in a facebook Instagram
world in other words we're good at
putting filters on things we're good at
showing people that life is amazing even
though I'm depressed
and so everybody sounds tough and
everybody sounds like they got it all
figure it out and the reality is there's
very little toughness and most people
don't have it figure it out and so when
the more senior people say well what we
do they sound like this is what you got
it in and they have no clue
so you have an entire generation growing
up with lower self-esteem than previous
generations right through no fault of
their own through no fault of their own
right they were dealt a bad hand now
let's add in technology we know that
engagement with social media and our
cell phones releases a chemical called
dopamine that's why when you get a text
it feels good all right so you know
we've all had it where you're feeling a
little bit down or feeling a bit lonely
and so you send out ten texts to ten
friends you know hi hi hi hi hi cuz it
feels good when you get a response it's
why we count the likes it's why we go
back ten times to see if and if it's
going if our mints and my Instagram is
growing slower and what I did I do
something wrong do they don't like me
anymore right the trauma for young kids
to be unfriended right because we know
when you get it you get a hit a dopamine
which feels good it's why we like it
it's why we keep going back to it
dopamine is the exact same chemical that
makes us feel good when we smoke when we
drink and when we gamble in other words
it's highly highly addictive right we
have age restrictions on smoking
gambling and alcohol and we have no age
restrictions on social media and cell
phones which is the equivalent of
opening up the liquor cabinet and saying
to our teenagers hey by the way this
adolescence thing if it gets you down
but that's basically what's happening
that's basically what's happening right
that's basically what happened you have
an entire generation that has access to
an addictive numbing to chemical called
dopamine through social media and
cellphones as they're going through the
high stress of adolescence why is this
important almost every alcoholic
discovered alcohol when they were
teenagers when we're very very young the
only approval we need is the approval of
our parents and as we go through
adolescence we make this transition
where we now need the approval of our
peers very frustrating for our parents
very important for us that allows us to
acculturate
outside of our immediate families into
the broader tribe right it's a highly
highly stressful and anxious period of
our lives and we're supposed to learn to
rely on our friends some people quite by
accident discover alcohol and numbing
effects of dopamine
from cope with the stresses and
anxieties of adolescents unfortunately
that becomes hardwired in their brains
and for the rest of their lives when
they suffer significant stress they will
not turn into a person they will turn to
the bottle-- social stress financial
stress career stress that's pretty much
the primary reasons why an alcoholic
drinks right what's happening is because
we're out allowing unfettered access to
these dopamine producing devices and
media basically it's becoming hardwired
and what we're seeing is as they grow
older too many kids don't know how to
form deep meaningful relationships their
words not mine they will admit that many
of their friendships are superficial
they will admit that their friends that
they don't count on their friends they
don't rely on their friends they have
fun with their friends but they also
know that their friends will cancel on
them that something better comes along
deep meaningful relationships are not
there because they never practice the
skill set and worse they don't have the
coping mechanisms to deal with stress so
when significant stress starts to show
up in their lives they're not turning to
a person they're turning to a device
they're turning to social media
they're
turning to these things which offer
temporary relief
we know the science is
clear we know that people who spend more
time on Facebook so far higher rates of
depression than people spend less time
on Facebook
these things balanced
alcohol is not bad too much alcohol is
bad
gambling is fun too much gambling is
dangerous
there's nothing wrong with social media
and cell phones it's the imbalance
if
you're sitting at dinner with your
friends and you're texting somebody
who's not there that's a problem
that's
an addiction
if you're sitting in a
meeting with people you're supposed to
be listening to and speaking and you put
your phone on the table face up or face
down I don't care that sends the
subconscious message to the room that
you're not just you're just not that
important to me right now right
that's
what happens and the fact that you
cannot put it away it's because you
aren't addicted right
if you wake up and
you check your phone before you say good
morning to your girlfriend boyfriend or
spouse you have an addiction
and like
all addiction in time it'll destroy
relationships it'll cost time and it'll
cost money and will make your life worse
so you have a generation growing up with
lower self-esteem that doesn't have the
coping mechanisms to do with stress
and
stress now you add in the sense of
impatience
they've grown up in a world
of instant gratification
you want to buy
something you go on Amazon it arrives
the next day
you want to watch a movie
log on and watch your movie you don't
check the movie times you want to watch
a TV show binge you don't even have to
wait week two weeks a week right
I know people who skip seasons just so
they can binge at the end of the season
right
Instant gratification
you want to
go on a date you don't even have to
learn how to be like you don't even have
to learn and practice that skill you
don't have to be the uncomfortable
Intuit's this is yes when you mean no
one says no when you mean no I mean yes
when you you have to swipe right bang
I'm a stud right
you don't have to learn
the social coping mechanisms
everything
you want you can have instantaneous
everything you want
instant
gratification
except job satisfaction
and strength of relationships
there ain't no app for that
they are
slow meandering uncomfortable messy
processes
and so I keep meeting these
wonderful fantastic idealistic
hard-working smart kids they've just
graduated school they're in their
entry-level job I sit down with them
when I go how's it going they go I think
I'm gonna quit
they're like I'm not making an impact
like you've been here eight months
it's
as if they're standing at the foot of a
mountain and they have this abstract
concept called impact that they want to
have in the world which is the summit
what they don't see is the mountain
I
don't care if you go up the mountain
quickly or slowly but there's still a
mountain and so what this young
generation needs to learn is patience
that some things that really really
matter like love or job fulfillment joy
love of life self-confidence a skill set
any of these things all of these things
take time
sometimes you can expedite pieces of it
but the overall journey is arduous and
long and difficult and if you don't ask
for help and learn that skill set you
will fall off the mountain
well you will
the worst case scenario the worst case
scenario and we're already seeing it the
worst case scenario is we're seeing
increase in suicide rates
we're seeing
an increase in this generation
we're
seeing increase in accidental deaths due
to drug overdoses
we're seeing more and
more kids drop out of school or take
leaves of absence due to depression
unheard of
these are this is this is
really bad
the best case scenario the
bet those are all bad cases right
the
best case scenario is you'll have an
entire population growing up and going
through life and just never really
finding joy
they will never really find
deep deep fulfillment in work or in life
they'll just just walk through life and
it'll do just it's fine
how's your job
it's fine the same as yesterday
how's
your relationship
it's fine like
that's
that's the best case scenario
which
leads me to the fourth point which is
environment which is we're taking this
amazing group of young fantastic kids
who had just dealt a bad hand it's no
fault of their own
and we put them in
corporate environments that care more
about the numbers and they do about the
kids
they care more about the short-term
gains than the long-term life of this
young human being
we care more about the year than the
lifetime
right and so we are putting
them in corporate environments that
aren't helping them build their
confidence that aren't helping them
learn the skills of cooperation that
aren't helping them overcome the
challenges of a digital world and
finding more balance that isn't helping
them overcome the need to have instant
gratification and teach them the joys
and impact in the fulfillment you get
from working hard over on something for
a long time that cannot be done in a
month or even in a year
and so we're
thrusting to them them in corporate
environments and the worst part about it
is they think it's them they blame
themselves
they can't they think it's
them who can't deal
and so it makes it
all worse
it's not I'm here to tell them
it's not them it's the corporation's
it's the corporate environments it's the
total lack of good leadership in our
world today that is making them feel the
way they do
they would dealt a bad hand
in it and I hate to say but it's the
company's responsibility sucks to be you
like we have no choice right
this is
what we got and I wish that society and
their parents did a better job
they
didn't
so we're gonna and we're getting
them in our companies and we now have to
pick up the slack
we have to work extra
hard to figure out the ways that we
build their confidence
we have to work
extra hard to find ways to teach them
social the social skills that they're
missing out on
there should be no cell phones and
conference rooms
none
zero
and I don't
mean the kind of like sitting outside
waiting to text I mean like when you're
sitting and waiting for a meeting to
start
nobody go this is what we all do
we all sit here and wait for the meeting
to start meaning starting okay
we start the meeting no that's not how
relationships are formed remember we
talked about it's the little things
relationships are formed this way we're
waiting for a meeting to start we go
how's your dad I heard he was in
hospital oh he's really good thanks for
asking
he's actually at home then
it was really amazing I know it was
really scary good
that's how you form
relationships hey did you ever get that
report on oh my god
no I didn't
I'll
help you out I've totally uh can I help
you out with that
really that's how trust forms trust
doesn't form at an event in a day
even bad times don't form trust
immediately
it's the slow steady
consistency and we have to create
mechanisms where we allow for those
little innocuous interactions to happen
but when we allow cell phones and
conference rooms we just okay I have the
meeting and then my favorite is like
when there's a cell phone there and you
go like this you go
it rains ago
I'm not gonna answer that
mr.
magnanimous you know
when you're out for
dinner with your friends like I I do
this with my friends when we're going
out for dinner and we're leaving
together we'll leave our cellphones at
home
who we call it maybe one of us will
bring the phone in case we need to call
the new booth or take a picture of our
meal
idealist I'm I'm insane
I mean it
looked really good
we'll take one phone
and so it's like an
alcoholic
the reason you take the
alcohol out of the house
so because we cannot trust our willpower
we're just not strong enough
but when
you remove the temptation it actually
makes it a lot easier
and so when you
just say don't check your phone people
literally will go like this and somebody
will go to the bathroom and what's the
first thing we do because I wouldn't
want to look around the restaurant for a
minute and a half
but if you don't have
the phone you just kind of enjoy the
world and
that's where ideas happen
the constant custom console engagement
is not where you have innovation and
ideas ideas happen when our minds wander
and we go and you see something on could
do that that's called innovation right
but we're taking away all those little
moments right
you should not and none of us none of us
should charge our phones by our beds we
should be charging our phones in the
living rooms right remove the temptation
you wake up in the middle of night cuz
you can't sleep you won't check your
phone which makes it worse but if it's
in the living room it's relaxed it's
fine
I am but it's my alarm clock fine alarm
clock they cost $8
I'll buy you but the point is the point
is is we now in industry whether we like
it or not we don't get a choice we now
have a responsibility to make up the
shortfall and to help this amazing
idealistic fantastic generation build
their countries learn patience learn the
social skills find a better balance
between life and technology because
quite frankly it's it's the right thing
to do
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